New Scam Alert: Fyre Festival Returns With a Sequel

I firmly believe that in order to avoid being scammed, one must believe themselves susceptible to being scammed. So if you were the type of person who on some level had FOMO over the original Fyre Festival because what was promised looked cool to you (despite all evidence of it not being feasible), I need you to put your wallet away before you read any further. For everyone else who deeply enjoyed the absolute cluster f**k that Fyre was and was always going to be, I’m happy to share with you that Billy McFarland, the mastermind behind the original Fyre Festival, is back at it for round two. That’s right, Fyre Festival: Electric Boogaloo is real, and it’s maybe (?), sorta (?) almost probably going to happen, people!

If you need a refresher on the disaster that was Fyre Festival and who Billy McFarland is, here’s one courtesy of Entertainment Weekly:

McFarland was released from federal prison in May 2022 after serving four years for defrauding investors and committing wire fraud in the ill-fated 2017 Fyre Festival he launched with rapper Ja Rule, which had been branded as a luxury musical extravaganza with gourmet dining that amounted to FEMA tents and cheese sandwiches. McFarland was subsequently transferred to a halfway house for community confinement and has since been on supervised release.

Now, on to the announcement video!

Honestly, I love it. If you refuse to watch the video announcement from McFarland (and I don’t blame you for valuing your time), then I shall summarize it thusly: while you were out there live, laugh, loving your lives, McFarland was in solitary confinement, writing up a 50-page plan for Fyre Festival 2. No word on font size, though, because if it was 48-point font, that’s not very impressive is it? Fyre Fest Pt. 2: Die Harder will take place at the end of next year (lol, or never, depending on whether or not you believe what McFarland says) in the Caribbean. Where in the Caribbean? Who knows!

I know what you’re really wondering, and no, McFarland does not mention Ja Rule, who was heavily involved in the original Fyre festival and somehow managed to avoid prison time, unlike McFarland.

I do have bad news, though: if you want to buy tickets, you’ll have to wait. The initial run of tickets, priced at $499, has sold out. It was limited to 100 tickets, and I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around 100 people knowing what happened at the last Fyre fest (you know, the thing McFarland went to prison over) and saying to themselves, “yes, this is a prudent choice to make. Take my money!”

If I may be so indulgent as to address these 100 people directly: Who are you?! Why are you doing this?! Follow-up question: Can I have some of your money, because you clearly will spend it on anything.

Here’s something hilarious: tickets may have started at $499, but they go up to $7,999, and if you are willing to give this literal fraudster that kind of money? Frankly, you deserve whatever fresh hell Fyre Festival II: The Fyreing unleashes unto this world. The good news is that anyone dumb enough to spend that kind of money on a music festival—and one so fraudulent and terrible that multiple documentaries were made about it—is most likely the type of person who is chronically on social media. So I’m sure we’ll get to enjoy live feeds of Fyre Festival II rapidly imploding from a safe distance, out of Billy McFarland’s reach.

(featured image: Netflix / Illustration by The Mary Sue)