There’s No Heterosexual Explanation for the Golf Girl Anime

Spoilers up to episode four of Birdie Wing: A Golf Girls’ Story

Being a sports anime fan means that you are fully aware of the homoerotic subtext that you’re gonna be hit with when you start the series. Sometimes, a shoujo “I’m in love” sequence is activated when you fall off a horse, other times you have a basketball team full of shippable boys who you’re trying to mend relationships with. Are we in for a SK8 the Infinity or are we going for the goal with a Yuri!!! On Ice? So far, Birdie Wing: A Golf Girls’ Story is walking the line between we’re destined to be the rival ship of the show and I’ve known you for less than 24 hours but I can’t help but think about you in sepia tone flashbacks.

When Eve met Aoi

Well, Birdie Wing is a yuri anime now. You’re not going to convince me otherwise. pic.twitter.com/5HoRB988mZ

— Kevin’s Tweets of the Twitless (@Twitless_Kevin) April 27, 2022

While the anime itself is delightfully bonkers, the way Eve and Aoi get to know each other is about what you’d expect out of a sports anime. Eve plays golf because she’s an absolute powerhouse who can use it to hustle folks out of their money. Aoi, on the other hand, enjoys the game for the sport of it. It doesn’t take long for their personalities to clash, but the clash is a lot less “grr I’m gonna beat you” and more “the way you play golf is scoring a hole-in-one in my heart.”

It only takes one match for Eve to realize that playing against Aoi is the most fun she’s ever had with golf. She’s eager to go up against her for an entire game and takes drastic, mafia-related measures to get her chance. For the first time, she isn’t playing golf for money, she’s playing to get closer to someone else. This leads to iconic sports anime moments like “dramatically running to you,” “we’re mentally talking to each other because we perfectly understand each other,” and “the rest of the world doesn’t exist while we compete.” Oh, and something about smiles piercing through hearts, there’s a lot of that, too.

At the beginning of the fourth episode, the two decide that they will play golf until Aoi’s flight back to Japan. It’s basically a date in sports anime terms, but things don’t go the way they planned.

Liar!

Birdie Wing this week didn’t have to go this hard😩 pic.twitter.com/Yot2cgpDBy

— 🔞Chinn🐯🌺 (@Chinn_chuu) April 27, 2022

Eve is rushing to meet up with Aoi after having to golf her way through a mafia turf war (you had to be there). In true Birdie Wing fashion, the scene where Eve arrives at the golf course too late is as over-the-top as possible. Aoi has left behind a golf ball that has a tear in its eye, and Eve responds by going to the airport and firing off her infamous “Blue Bullet” so Aoi can see her shots from the plane.

Now I’m not gonna pretend like I’ve seen every sports anime ever, but I swear this feels like it’s hitting the “break up” scene for the ship rather quickly. SK8 the Infinity waited until episode seven, and even the second season of Free! (which had the AUDACITY to break up my perfect swimming husbands Haru and Mako) waited until the season was almost finished to do something like this. Eve and Aoi have had exactly ONE match against each other directly since they were in separate groups for the tournament, but they’ve somehow already hit the “LIAR” portion of their relationship where a girl’s crying on an airplane while the other girl watches her leave.

How are Eve and Aoi gayer than the viper lesbian?

PLEASE WATCH BIRDIE WING ITS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING OUTSTANDING pic.twitter.com/rkwPaqqLQj

— Benevolent Lesbian Jigsaw (@PuddiCure) April 27, 2022

Of course, no sports anime is complete without the obviously gay character who is overly flirtatious toward whoever they’re interested in. Even so, Vipère the Reaper is not at all who I was expecting to see – and I’d made it through an entire season of SK8’s ADAM being… well, ADAM. Vipère immediately invades Eve’s personal space, goes right for her breasts, imagines tying her up, and has plans of getting her to remember her name in her heart and body, insert lots of snake tongue action.

Not only does this NOT phase Eve, but she uses it as an opportunity to STATE HER FEELINGS FOR AOI. Instead of shrinking away from Vipère’s advances, Eve tells her to her face that she already has another name in her heart before we get a shot of Aoi golfing. Eve. It’s been, like, less than a day? After one match and competing SEPARATELY in a tournament, you’re already talking about this girl being IN YOUR HEART?!

We’re four episodes in and I’m left wondering what this series could possibly do to top “name in my heart” and “leaving a golf club behind to symbolize my broken heart.” Either way, I’m betting it’s going to be a wacky, sapphic vibe where we learn all the ways to say “I love you” with a golf club.

You can check out Birdie Wing: Golf Girls’ Story over at Crunchyroll!

(Image: BNP/BIRDIE WING Golf Club)