The function is coming up, and I gotta let everyone know that I’m cool. But how? Bring snacks for everyone? Cash? A gaggle of influencer friends? None of those. I’ve gotta bring one and/or all of these Lego Ninjago Ninja sets. Then everyone will wanna be my friend.
1. Imperium Dragon Hunter Hound
Everyone who’s anyone has a cool pet. Paris Hilton had that little teacup dog. Karl Lagerfeld had his cat Chopette? How can I prove I’m en vogue? By adopting this Ninjago Imperium Dragon Hunter Hound. All Paris’ dog can do is shake and look bug-eyed at people. Chopette just sits there and looks slay. But this thing? This thing slays DRAGONS. And look! It even comes with a minifigure of evil old Imperium Claw General to ride it. He’ll be the first thing that goes in the trash. I’m this hound’s mother now.
2. Heatwave Transforming Lava Dragon
I need to bring some serious heat if I’m gonna impress anyone at the function. With the Heatwave Transforming Lava Dragon, I will practically BE the thermostat. Regular-degular dragons breathe fire. We all learned that from Game of Thrones or whatever. This dragon LIVES in fire. LIQUID fire. HOT LAVA. And it has included Ninjago minifigurines including Lord Ras on a hovercraft. He can keep it, I have a dragon to ride.
3. Jay’s Mech Battle Pack
What happens if some ne’er-do-wells show up to the function I have to defend the honor of everyone there? Jay’s Mech Battle Pack will help me do just that. Those bozos will quake in fear at the awesome might of Jay’s mecha robo. It has a big glaive that it carries, which can be swung in its movable arms! And it has included warrior minifigures for backup? Perfect. They may mess with one of us, but never the whole squad.
4. Zane’s Dragon Power Spinjitzu Race Car
Ever since I was a child, it has been my dream to pull up to the function in Zane’s Dragon Power Spinjitzu Race Car. Sorry, Zane. There’s only space enough for one. Yes, the wheels spin. Yes, I will be spinning them as I manipulate the car down the sidewalk while making puttering sounds with my mouth. No, I don’t care that the function will take two hours to get too if I walk like this. My lateness will be more than fashionable. It will be haute couture.
5. Legacy Tournament of Elements
Sometimes you impress people at the function, you gotta let them know your worth. I will prove my worth at the Legacy Tournament of Elements. I will be the Avatar of the Ninjago universe, mastering all the elements and making the many minifigures included in this set bow their heads in shame. I mean look at it, it’s a battle arena. What is gonna impress everyone more than winning in glorious combat? If it was good enough for the Ancient Romans, it should be good enough for anyone in the Hollywood Hills.
6. Temple of The Dragon Energy Cores
The Priory of the Orange Tree‘s book cover is just a cheap imitation of the grandiose Temple of The Dragon Energy Cores playset. That’s what I tell everyone who will listen at the function. I mean look at it, a royal tower flanked by a glorious tree that puts the one in Van Gogh’s Starry Night to shame. No expense has been spared to protect the dragon energy cores. After all, they’re one of the greenest energy sources on the market along with solar and wind power! Nothing impresses people at the function more than green energy.
7. Wolf Mask Shadow Dojo
Someday, I’ll be the one to host the function. And I’ll hold it at the Wolf Mask Shadow Dojo. It puts Ken’s Mojo Dojo Whatchamacallit house from the Barbie movie to absolute shame. This house has a Wolf Mask. That house? Nothing but a dude-bro on a leather couch with an acoustic guitar inside. Who needs an acoustic guitar? The shadow dojo has a GONG. Plus adorable cherry blossom decorations to juxtapose with the dark and fearsome decor? A+ interior design.
8. Jay’s Titan Mech
Sometimes Jay’s Battle Mech isn’t enough. Sometimes you need the big guns. I’m talking about Jay’s Titan Mech. This mecha monstrosity is twice the size of the battle mech, with twice the armaments! An awesome sword—nay, TWO awesome swords—plus two shoulder-mounted rocket launchers? Jay’s Titan Mech looks straight out of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
9. Kai’s Ninja Climber
Kai has a giant awesome mech too? And this thing can CLIMB STUFF!? The function I’m trying to crash is in the Hollywood Hills, and Kai’s Ninja Climber is the perfect thing to climb up into those hills. And with its awesome four-armed design replete with swords and climbing cables, I can climb the social ladder too.
10. Sora’s Elemental Tech Mech
The whole squad is absolutely on point right now! Sora’s Elemental Tech Mech might just be the best-looking mech of all. Look at the sleek, snow white and midnight blue paint job. The golden weapons and armor accouterments. The pink flower shield? Absolutely iconic. It looks like a giant robot Ramona Flowers would pilot. Vibe checked.
11. Lloyd’s Elemental Power Mech
Lloyd’s Elemental Power Mech proves that Lloyd has been holding out on us! Look at that deep green finish with the golden trim. It’s like a sexy lime! Plus the two swords! And what is shooting out of the shoulders there? Poison gas? Green lightning? A win either way.
12. Cole’s Earth Dragon
Cole’s Earth Dragon must have been literally hiding under a rock because I would have put it at the top of the list if I had seen it before! Part scorpion. Part reptile. All cool. Cole really outdid himself taming this thing. Its digging powers would allow me to make the perfect entrance to any function. Why knock on the door when you could burrow up through the kitchen floor?
13. Egalt The Master Dragon
Egalt The Master Dragon is HIM. Just look at unc’s wise-looking mustache! His stylish wide-brimmed hat! He looks like he’s about to tell me that I’m the Chosen One, and I’d believe him. The old geezer is still spry too! His head, tail, and all of his joints move! He’s gonna need that to fight battles with the included minifigures or cut loose at the functino. Don’t hurt ’em now unc.
