Conservatives boycott Coca-Cola because of a lie. What else is new?

Who would’ve thought personalized Coca-Cola bottles could stir up controversy among conservatives and Trump supporters? Well, everyone, probably. The worst part is that they’re getting offended over a non-issue; they’re obsessing over something that is an outright lie.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for religious expression. Anyone should be able to express their faith so long as it brings no harm to others. With that disclaimer out of the way, it seems that a certain group of people is calling for a boycott of Coca-Cola because they didn’t read the terms and conditions when they tried to get a personalized Coca-Cola bottle. Their input of “Jesus” was denied by Coca-Cola’s personalization system.

To quote the Coca-Cola website, this is what appears when you type in the word “Jesus” for the personalized bottle:

“Looks like the name you requested is not approved. Names and phrases may not be approved if they are trademarked, political in nature, names of countries, celebrities, or religious figures, as well as anything that could be considered offensive for other reasons. Oftentimes, a name might be accepted if you add a last name to the submission.”

My gripe with this policy is that I know some people named Jesus. None of them are religious figures—they’re ex-law students and radio anchors. Nevertheless, “Jesus” isn’t the only name that can’t be used for a customized label. “Trump,” “Allah,” and “God” are among the names that can’t be used, too. I tried to use the name of my lord and savior, Lady Gaga. Alas, “Lady Gaga” is also trademarked.

Debunking false claims

Contrary to the fake news being spread online, the terms “Satan,” “Devil,” and even “Harris” can’t be used on the bottles either. This doesn’t exactly play into the oppression fantasy the MAGA crowd relishes. If you don’t believe me, feel free to check Coca-Cola’s personalized bottle site yourself.

Surprisingly, these divine names are allowed

Although Coca-Cola is generally avoiding religious names and topics, it’s made an exception for several Greek gods. This may add to the ire of Trump supporters and Christians who can’t get the names they want on their bottles, but I’ll say it anyway. You can put the names “Dionysus,” “Bacchus,” and even “Aphrodite” on the bottles. Essentially, you can use almost all the names of the Greek gods, except the King of the Gods himself—Zeus. Poseidon is also blocked and can’t be used for personalization.

Come to think of it, Zeus might not be a fan of Coke. Neither is Poseidon, who’s always surrounded by salty water. I’m sure Ambrosia and wine are preferable to most Greek gods anyway.