Petition Asks Canada to Offer Asylum For Trans People Fleeing the U.S., U.K.

I’m crossing all of my fingers and all of my toes that this works.

It’s no secret that the world is becoming a more hostile place for trans people. There is currently a flurry of anti-trans legislation currently moving through the bowels of legislative bodies all across the United States. One such bill is currently kicking around in the small intestine of Oklahoma, which, if passed, would make providing gender related care to anyone under the age of 26 a felony. Meanwhile the U.K. is currently revising their Equality Act to exclude trans and non-binary people. Apparently the irony of such an action is lost on them. Also, J.K. Rowling still won’t shut the fuck up. It’s an ugly world out there for the dolls, the trans boys, and anyone and everyone who can’t be packaged neatly into a cis-shaped box.

In light of all this bullshit, many trans people want to get out while the getting is good. And I’m one of them.

But where can we go?

CANADA BABY! It’ll be a trans Exodus of biblical proportions. I’ll lead it myself. I will part the waters of goddamn Niagara Falls and lead the gang to the land of Milk and Maple Syrup. Fuck America. We’ll all build cabins out in the woods. We’ll look at the stars. Maybe we’ll become mounties. Ride horses. Say “eh.” Go to Quebec and learn to speak French. We’ll be rugged. We’ll be outdoorsy. Our closets will be filled entirely with flannel. We’ll climb trees and swing hand over hand over the branches while singing Ethel Cain and Kim Petras songs. We’ll climb to the top of some 400 year old pine tree and bump Sophie while we look at the moon in remembrance. It will be grand. It will be glorious. We’ll write a new Gospel. And we’ll sneak back to America under cover of night and nail our newly written pages to the door of every church and government office in the USA like fucking Martin Luther. JUST YOU TRY AND STOP US.

All we need is a certain petition to get passed in Canadian legislature and we’re golden.

What petition is that and where do I sign?

The petition is written to the Canadian House of Commons, imploring them to allow trans people around the world to seek asylum in the country in order to escape persecution. These are the points they raise in support of their argument:

• The world is becoming increasingly hostile to transgender and nonbinary individuals;
• Transgender and nonbinary people’s rights to live as themselves are being restricted and removed in many places;
• This includes the so-called “Western democracies” which have historically been presumed safe;
• The United Kingdom is revising their Equality Act to exclude trans people from its protections;
• More than a dozen American states have enacted or are considering legislation eliminating or criminalizing gender-affirming care; and
• Canada has prided itself on being an inclusive, tolerant, and welcoming society for everyone regardless of gender identity or gender expression.

They the close the petition with this statement: “We, the undersigned, residents of Canada, call upon the House of Commons to extend to transgender and nonbinary people the right to claim asylum in Canada by reason of eliminationist laws in their home countries, whatever country that may be.”

Canada, we as Americans are guilty of making fun of you sometimes. I am guilty of making fun of you sometimes. But you are now my new favorite country. Consider it schoolyard flirting. Americans just think you’re sexy and better than us, and this proves it. Honestly, you’re out of our league.

The petition is currently making its rounds on Twitter. So if you’re on Twitter, RETWEET IT. It can only be signed by Canadian citizens, so if you’re Canadian SIGN IT AND THEN RETWEET IT. SIGN IT 50 TIMES. 100. A MILLION. TWO. BILLION. At the exact time I’m writing this sentence, the petition has 2261 signatures. 2261 of the sexiest people on Earth. Thank you, you beautiful bastards. I’ll buy you each poutine for life.

If you’re feeling lazy, here’s a horrifying cesspool of anti-trans legislation to motivate you to do it RIGHT NOW.

*cracks knuckes* oh boy here we go.

South Carolina is following Oklahoma’s example and working on a bill that would ALSO ban gender related care to individuals under 26.

Other bills in both Oklahoma, South Carolina, Kansas, and Mississippi would ban gender affirming healthcare to trans individuals under 21. So basically they think that 18 year old kids are mature enough to make the decision join the military and die in a foreign land but not to be trans? Cool. The TransCanadian military will provide gender affirming care to anyone and everyone.

Bills in over a dozen states would ban trans healthcare for minors, following the lead of Arkansas. The TransCanadian Alliance will be sending in wet teams of trans youth into the state for sabotage operations (i.e. torching GOP country club golf courses).

A bill in Mississippi declaring that “separate is not inherently unequal,” which is LITERALLY THE LANGUAGE USED IN THE SUPREME COURT DECISION IN PLESSY VS FERGUSON USED TO UPHOLD SEGREGATION, would define “sex” as unchangeable at birth. Meanwhile, West Virginia is apparently pining for the days of the early 20th century as well, and is working on a bill that would deem “any transvestite and/or transgender exposure, performances or display” to be a form of public indecency, and may bar transgender people from being around children. In the TransCanadian Alliance, we’re passing a law that makes it obscene to be outdoors while registered Republican in West Virginia.

And this isn’t even TOUCHING the legislation going on in schools that would outlaw discussions on gender identity, or in public libraries that would ban books related to trans and LGBTQ issues. And like I said before, America isn’t the only Western democracy that’s a problem. A hop, skip, and jump across the pond and you’ll come face to face with the anti-trans hellscape that is the United Kingdom (soon to be another theater of war for the TransCanadian Alliance).

So once again, share the petition, and sign it if you’re Canadian. And remember, we want YOU to join the TransCanadian Alliance and fight the good fight. Good luck, and godspeed, eh?

(featured image: Ted Eytan/Flickr (CC BY-SA)