Pokémon Brazenly Makes Us Choose: Chonk or Smol?

The newest trailer for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet left fans with a lot of delightful and exciting fodder to ponder. For one, there was the matter of the incredibly hot professors. We also got our first looks at the new legendaries, Koraidon and Miraidon. Fun fact: “korai” is Japanese for “ancient,” and “mirai” is Japanese for “future.” But the real stars of the trailer were the new Pokémon that were revealed—particularly Smoliv and Lechonk, because I cannot believe those are their actual names. Pokémon’s Twitter account recently seized this delightful absurdity, asking fans to make an impossible choice: chonk or small?

After the trailer’s release, Smoliv and Lechonk immediately garnered huge fan reactions on social media. Fan art of both was plentiful just by the end of the day. I can’t read everyone’s mind as to why these two Pokémon made huge swaths of the internet immediately obsessed with them, but personally speaking, I have my own reasons. For one, “Smoliv” and “Lechonk” are absolutely the two best Pokémon names in many generations. I’d go so far as to say “Smoliv” is quite possibly the best English-language portmanteau in any Pokémon name. And “Lechonk” just sounds like what a group of eight-year-olds would decide to name that Pokémon, which I mean in the best possible way. Furthermore, they both look very much like their excellent names. They are amazing, the stuff of dreams.

But, for all this excitement, strong personal preferences emerged. I was not immune to this phenomenon. I love and respect Lechonk very much, but Smoliv’s horrified look and incorporation of one of my favorite words in its name (hehehehe, “smol”) immediately ensnared my heart in a way a Pokémon has not managed in a long, long time. And Smoliv has not let go. If Smoliv were real, I would risk my life to protect him. I think my adoration has a lot to do with that aforementioned perpetually horrified and weary facial expression. Smoliv looks how I’ve felt since (especially) the beginning of May. We are two peas in a pod—or, rather, two Smolivs on a vine.

Smoliv has also been incredible for memes. You can probably guess why.

Apparently, Pokémon Twitter agrees with my Smoliv obsession. Smoliv is presently winning the official franchise account’s RT vs. like war—by a lot, actually. Smoliv’s got more than double the votes Lechonk does, which, even as a hardcore Smoliv fan, surprises me. I would’ve expected it to be much closer. Perhaps it’s because Lechonk’s eye markings look like either boogers or tears, and like me, fans are wavering between whether this is cute or gross/sad? I still love you, Lechonk.

At least we can all tell that Pawmi—the other new Pokémon from the trailer—is far inferior. The Twitter account belatedly added Pawmi to the poll, and Pawmi garnered less than a thousand votes—an unfair start, to be sure, but still, Pawmi is trying too hard to be fluffy and cute. Smoliv and Lechonk are perfect little weirdos. I do really hope Pokémon has learned from the Sobble/Inteleon line, though. I felt betrayed when my beautiful sad friend became an over-confident stranger. I do not want Smoliv or Lechonk to become cool. I want them to stay strange and wonderful.

(featured image: The Pokémon Company)