Over the past few years, corporations have been trying to attract more customers by coopting Pride Month for financial gain—”rainbow washing.” Sure, it is better to support smaller queer-owned businesses or independent artists, but something about seeing rainbow gear in as mainstream a place as Target warms your heart a little, doesn’t it, in spite of the reality of corporate cynicism? However, crybaby conservatives have complained about this to the point of corporations backing off of Pride support.
Right-wing bullying has caused Starbucks to remove its Pride decorations from stores. It has also caused Target to remove products from its online Pride collection, not to mention all the ridiculous drama surrounding Bud Light. I am here to tell you that seeing a Pride flag while you get your Carmel Frappuccino or knowing a tuck-friendly bathing suit will not make you gay. That isn’t how that works.
However, a popular Twitter meme has pinpointed the real culprit in what historically “turns kids gay.”
Twitter knows what turns people gay
In a trending meme, Twitter users are taking the phrase “a rainbow shirt at Target won’t turn your kids gay but [insert fictional character name] will,” along with photos of the offending sexy characters. Let’s be honest: Fictional characters have fueled our sexual awakenings for a long time. The earliest example I can find came from a user saying Vera Farmiga’s character in Hawkeye will turn kids gay. Then things took off from there.
Let’s hear it for the alluring power of Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) from The X-Files.
After watching the original Jurassic Park, everyone had a crush on Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern).
How about the ripped, gun-toting Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) from the Terminator movies?
Someone tweeted the meme with my favorite, Xena the Warrior Princess, played by Lucy Lawless. To be fair, that entire show was just bisexual chaos from start to finish.
Speaking of chaotic bi-energy, you probably shouldn’t let anyone watch The Mummy. Everyone in that movie is extremely hot and anyone with a pulse can’t see it and remain 100% straight. It’s impossible. I saw The Mummy as a young teen and have never been the same since.
The same goes for watching Pirates of the Caribbean. I mean, who can resist the allure of both Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner? We shouldn’t (and don’t) have to pick.
Some blame the corrupted version of the Power Rangers.
While others blame Hatsune Miku for making the kids gay.
Of course, Oberyn Martell (Pedro Pascal) and Ellaria Sand (Indira Varma) in Game of Thrones surely had some hand in this.
You can see more great examples of this meme here. The moral of the story is seeing gay merchandise or decor won’t make you gay. Removing Pride products from corporations won’t make a difference in someone’s sexuality. So, conservatives should just keep their bigotry to themselves. The real culprit is hot-ass fictional characters, and there is nothing we can do against that much sexiness. Just wave your Pride flag and enjoy yourself.
(featured image: Universal Pictures)
Published: Jun 16, 2023 04:00 pm