Rats officially have more reproductive rights than me in the US, so I guess I’m going to become a rat.

It is a sad day when Remy the Rat technically has more control over reproductive rights than I do. I hope the Rat King is taking care of his Rat Queen and making sure she gets her birth control since real life women…can’t even have that access.

Remember the meme “The rats don’t own this city, we do”? It was about the rat population in New York City. There are a lot of them. I know, I live here. Often I feel like Cinderella on my way home as I see all the rats run around the city blocks. As a way of trying to help the population boom of our underground friends, lawmakers have decided to try giving birth control to rats to help the situation.

It is called Flaco’s Law and the idea is that they’re going to test it on certain neighborhoods and see if it works. Good for the rats, glad they have reproductive rights! Can’t say the same for women in this country but at least the rats get free birth control.

Right now, birth control is not even free for women. If you have insurance, it might be free but might is the operative word. You could still be paying for birth control and yet the rat population of New York City gets it for free. Make that make sense.

I understand there is a rat problem but you have to also laugh at the absurdity of this. Women’s reproductive rights are on the ballot this November with many fearing what a Donald Trump win would do for abortion rights and reproductive healthcare. So to hear that we’re handing out free birth control to rats when women are fighting for their rights this election is…laughable.

Happy for the rats.

Many online correctly pointed out that the rats have better healthcare than we humans do. According to reports, the rat birth control will target both ovarian function as well as sperm production. You know, something we don’t have as HUMANS but I guess great for rodents!

Maybe if we don’t let this happen, the rats will rise up and take over and they’ll give women reproductive rights. I feel like Remy the Rat and Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would be all for abortion rights.

But outside of the jokes making this baffling solution hilarious, it is really upsetting to stop and think about how governments will willingly give out free birth control to rodents before they’d offer the same thing to women who need it.

Women have to pay. Whatever way you look at it, we’re paying for our birth control and the rats are just getting it for free. AND it is for both ovarian protection as well as sperm count. Do you not see how outlandish this all is?

So I will happily let myself become a rat if it means I have rights to my body. Look, Remy is a chef and Splinter has a family full of turtles. Maybe I will be happier as a rat anyway.