Ron DeSantis’ Stance on Abortion Summed Up With One Bonkers Anecdote

In the immortal words of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, Ron DeSantis is “a bad person with an ugly heart.” He’s also an ignoramus, and flailing the polls for the Republican presidential nomination, so at least we, collectively as a country, have that going for us.

Since he’s awful and unfortunately has power, DeSantis has made being anti-abortion basically his entire personality. Remember, he signed a 6-week abortion ban in the dead of night in his home state of Florida, and I guess he won’t be happy until everyone is living their best worst Handmaid’s Tale life. This honestly works out in all good people’s favor because it’s been shown time and time again in this country that being pro-choice (and protecting abortion) is a winning election strategy.

So it is with that in mind that I share the following: What the hell was DeSantis talking about re: abortions in last night’s debate?! If you didn’t watch, here’s a summary, courtesy of Yahoo! News:

“I know a lady in Florida named Penny. She survived multiple abortion attempts. She was left discarded in a pan,” he continued.

“Fortunately, her grandmother saved her and brought her to a different hospital.”

First and foremost, can someone check with ol’ Pudding Fingers Ron on his personal definition of an abortion, please? I mean, I’m not a doctor, but I’m ninety percent sure if someone named Penny is ending up in a pan after a medical procedure, abortion has nothing to do with it. Also, none of that happened. We’re all clear on that, yes? That is simply not how abortions, grandmas, or hospitals work, and I mean in that order, too.

Here’s the best and worst thing about what DeSantis said: He refused to elaborate any further, and no follow-up questions were asked. That just goes to show that no one with a microphone was paying attention, or none of the other Republican candidates understand what abortion is, either. They just like to scream about it so they can fundraise off of it. Also, can you imagine saying something half as stupid as what DeSantis said on an international stage and not immediately looking for a hole to go crawl into because you want to die of the embarrassment? Not old Meatball Ron, though! Nope, he said Penny’s grandma got her out of a pan and into a different hospital with his whole chest!

Thankfully some people out there didn’t just spend their time metaphorically pointing and laughing at DeSantis, and instead, tried to unpack what the hell he was saying. Jezebel thinks they may have found Penny, even:

The “Penny” whom DeSantis referenced in the debate appears to be this anti-abortion activist from Michigan, not Florida, who’s acted as a spokesperson for Protect Life Michigan and has claimed to be born at 23 weeks in 1955 after her parents decided to have an abortion. Hopper has said she was born at just one pound and 11 ounces and that she was rescued by her grandmother and brought to a hospital in Florida. Her story has never been fact-checked, probably because it includes no actual facts to check, but has been the basis of a whole string of so-called “Born Alive” bills in state legislatures and Congress.

The whole thing is so stupid and morally depraved it’s hard to take Ron DeSantis seriously, which is a dangerous take to have. This man does have power, which he wields with the grace of a toddler playing in a bag of wet flour. By that, I mean his horrible policies slime everyone in their path. It’s clear he doesn’t understand abortion, but also clear he has no problem spreading falsehoods and lies about it, either. The Republican way, it seems.

(featured image: Win McNamee/Getty Images)