Why You Should Fire Your Therapist and Wait for ‘Shrinking’ To Come Out Instead

It’s time to go to therapy. No, not REAL therapy! Who has the time, money, or energy to spend sitting with a stranger and telling them your problems for 50 minutes before writing them a check for $150? That’s like $3 per minute. Or anywhere from $30 to $50 per problem, depending on how complicated your life is! I’m not MADE OF MONEY. And that’s ONE OF MY PROBLEMS.

Thankfully, Apple TV has come up with a solution. A “thinking man’s” option, as it were. They’ve just greenlit a new TV show about therapy called Shrinking! Now you can get secondhand therapy via a delightful little 10-episode series! And all for the low, low price of an Apple TV+ subscription! Does your therapist come with thousands of other shows to stream while you sit in their office? I think not!

So what makes Shrinking worth it?

For one, it’s created by Jason Segel, star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Muppets—two movies that had no right to be as good as they were! Plus, he’s starring in it as the therapist. If you’ve ever wanted to look deep into J.S.’s warm brown eyes and tell him all of your problems, now you can. He just won’t be able to hear you! But that’s okay, your real therapist never truly heard you either! Emotionally, that is. Shrinking is co-written by Bill Lawrence, one of the writers on the delightful Ted Lasso—another show about a goofy, well-intentioned middle-aged white man! Writing Shrinking ought to be a cinch for him!

It’s also not like all the other therapy shows out there. If you think Jason Segel is gonna act like a kindly Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, you’re wrong. The whole premise of the show is that Jason Segel’s character is a therapist named Jimmy who is stuck in a rut himself. And he decides to crawl out of it by telling his clients what he really thinks about their problems. So, if Jimmy thinks that they’re being a whiny baby and they should dump their stupid boyfriend named Tradner because he’s sick of hearing about the guy, then that’s exactly what Jimmy is gonna tell them! And if Tradner walks into Jimbo’s office the next day all heartbroken, the good doctor is gonna tell him exactly why he got dumped. Probably because he snorts creatine powder and has a silly name.

That sounds pretty good, but I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to ANOTHER mental health provider. Who else is in Shrinking?

You’re gonna love this …

There’s ANOTHER therapist in the show—a distinguished colleague of Jimmy’s and a wizened old man who has built a successful practice based around Cognitive Behavior Therapy (it’s a real thing) and who has ALSO given us all therapeutic relief by uttering lines such as “Don’t tell me the odds” and “I have a bad feeling about this!” I’m talking, of course, about HAN SOLO—I mean, HARRISON FORD! His character, Dr. Phil Rhodes, is struggling with a recent Parkinson’s disease diagnosis, and has to navigate his tenuous relationship with friends and family while struggling to preserve the legacy of his practice. Luckily, he has a young protege named Gaby (played by Love Life‘s Jessica Williams) to help him!

Additionally, the cast will feature Christa Miller from Scrubs and Cougar Town, Michael Urie from Ugly Betty, Luke Tennie from CSI: Vegas, and Lukita Maxwell from Genera+ion as co-stars! They might not all be therapists, but they’re bound to give you that little hit of serotonin that you so desperately crave!

Speaking of serotonin, I could use a little hit right now! Is there a trailer for Shrinking?

Oh yes, there is! I’ve got your trailer right here:

Looks pretty cute, right? Look at them all having fun on that trampoline while listening to a tasteful Kid Cudi remix! I bet your therapist doesn’t have a trampoline in her office, does she? And she probably doesn’t even know who Kid Cudi is. Would you trust the professional opinion of someone who hasn’t ever heard the seminal ’00s hit “Pursuit of Happiness”? I know I wouldn’t.

Okay, I’m convinced. When does Shrinking premiere?

I thought you might be! The show will premiere on January 27, 2023 with not one, but TWO episodes. At half an hour each, that’s basically a WHOLE THERAPY SESSION. 10 minutes extra! The other eight episodes will be released on a weekly basis—like real therapy! Don’t know what to do between now and when the show releases? Fire your therapist! You could either spend months looking for a new one, OR just spend those months until Shrinking drops SAVING YOUR MONEY. You’re paying $150 a week right now? Just THINK of the serotonin that you could buy with an extra $600 a month! That’s a closet full of new clothes! Or an adorable rescue kitten with all her shots! Or a plane ticket out of whatever dump you live in! The possibilities are endless, and maybe if you took a page out of Kid Cudi’s book and strove off in pursuit of YOUR OWN happiness, you wouldn’t need therapy after all.

(featured image: Apple TV+)