Teen Wolf Recap: “Fireflies”

Things I’ve learned from Teen Wolf this week: Teenage wereboys can really rock a scarf. Don’t go camping. Work ethic is dangerous. Oh, and apparently virgin sacrifice is still a thing.

This week’s episode is called “Fireflies,” so excuse me while I banish images of Nathan Fillion and Owl City from my brain.

Chris Argent is probably wondering what happened to his life that he’s been dragged back in to spending so much time hanging out with a bunch of adolescent werewolves, but hey, you know he loves the hobby. So what brought Chris Argent back into the were-fold? Two out of control werewolves by the name of Boyd and Cora (Derek’s previously-thought-to-be-dead-little sister) running wild around Beacon Hills. They interrupt some wholesome children catching fireflies in a jar, which is how you know they’re trouble.

My favorite ginger genius Lydia Martin wakes from what appears to be another night of restless psychic sleep. She calls out for her mother, who is once again not there and who has once again “Left [her] feeling like a lunatic,” which she follows by sharing a significant glance with the moon. That little detail isn’t all that important, but I need to include it so you all know why I’m going to be calling these Beacon Hill Scoobies “The Lunatics” from now on. It’s a great band name; their first singles will include “Sad Jogging” and “My Mom Tried to Kill My Boyfriend, Part 1.”

Upon discovering the absence of her mother, Lydia immediately heads out to restock on ibuprofen. Unluckily for her she also immediately stumbles on a dead body. Poor girl. This show seems pretty intent on constantly raining psychological warfare down on her, and all she wants to do is learn more math, have sex with boys, and hang out with Allison.

Lydia calls Stiles about the corpse, which is ADORABLE. I really just need them to spend this whole season as the bantery buddy cops to Scott & Co’s werewolf/warrior princess brawn. Stiles seems upset that Lydia called the police before she called him, though. “I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?” “YES.”

Meanwhile, Allison is sitting in her car staring broodingly out at the Beacon Hills skyline, flashing back to the revelations of last episode. Yep, our local warrior princess knows the truth behind how her momma got bit last year (for those who need reminding: It was while trying to murder Allison’s boyfriend). Scott’s been keeping it from her because he knows how expensive her therapy bills probably already are.

There are more pressing things to worry about at the moment than how to deal with one’s mountains of emotional baggage, though. Notably: Those two aforementioned runaway werewolves, whom Derek, Scott and Isaac (fresh from posing from their The Lunatics album cover, judging from Isaac’s scarf) are tracking through the woods. They’re not having much luck, however. They need help, especially since they’re operating under the assumption that Boyd and Cora were the ones behind the dead guy Lydia found at the pool.

So where do you acquire help to find two errant werewolves in Beacon Hills? Well from someone who very much knows how to hunt werewolves. Perhaps someone whose last name even means silver in French. Specifically, the man who taught Allison how to brood so effectively and who stands too close to teenagers and perpetually stubbly grieving twenty-somethings.

Chris Argent is being an adorable bumbling grocery-shopping single dad when Scott shows up in the grocery store parking lot to recruit him for their midnight werewolf-corralling. They have some good bonding time: “There’s probably still some part of me that wants to shoot you.” “I get that.” Chris wants to know why he should get back into the supernatural biz when that’s exactly what decimated his entire family, Scott talks him into it with the classic “just help me with one dead body at a pool” line. You think you’re out, and the boyishly cute werewolves just pull you back in. They’re just so earnest about it.

Meanwhile in the woods, an adorable lesbian couple heats things up in the romance department with a lantern-lit kissing session. This show really does deserve props for so consistently succeeding at the casual representation that a lot of shows bumble over. It’s like they’re actively taking steps towards equal opportunity objectification, and I respect that. There’s a tent, there’re candles, it’s all very cute. And then BUGS. Oh god THE BUGS. Beacon Hills seems to be having a little bit of trouble with their animal and insect populations of late. I think I can officially call it an issue when a swarm of bugs came and just ATE that poor young gay girl before she could even get in some proper macking with her girl. And this is why I don’t go camping.

And if the surviving girl’s night wasn’t bad enough, Boyd and Cora show up all pissed off and hungry. Luckily they’re interrupted by The Lunatics before injury can take place. Papa Stilinski arrives on the crime scene of the camp ground to comfort Caitlin (the surviving teen in Bug Attack ’13), who seems a little shell-shocked that she was nearly attacked by super-hairy violent people with glowing eyes immediately following her date being devoured by beetles. I’m hoping that the more people mention weird werewolf symptoms to Papa Stilinski the sooner we’ll get him actually piecing together the puzzle and joining the club of the supernaturally aware.

Elsewhere, Stiles has followed Lydia home because old habits die hard. These two can never talk about anything normal, of course, so the topic drifts back to the constant murders going on in their town. Specifically: How the hell did Lydia stumble on that body in the first place? The answer probably lies in writers’ aforementioned habits psychological warfare of Cordelia Chase types; probably also something psychic. At the very least it’s probably something to do with the remaining psychic connection between Lydia and Peter, who for his part seems to spend his time stalking through the woods in the middle of the night to torment his nephew*.

Stiles leaves Lydia when he gets a call from Mama McCall for some late night corpse investigating. The guy Lydia found at the pool had three major wounds that could have killed him: He was strangled with something, his throat was slashed open, and he had a big old strike wound to the head. Not very werewolf-y, so Boyd and Cora are out.

This is also where we find out the fate of poor Heather, Stiles’ would-be-lovah, who is lying dead and suffering from these same wounds on the table next to the guy they found at the pool. Stiles cries about it, which RIPS MY SOUL TO PIECES, but at least we’re starting to piece together some of what will probably fuel a lot of the plot this season: We seem to have a serial killer on our hands, and one that might not even take werewolf form at all.

Stiles is the one who goes Veronica Mars on this case and does the mental math: The guy from the pool is wearing a purity ring, Heather wanted to get all up in Stiles’ pants so she wouldn’t be a virgin anymore, and the surviving girl from the monster bug camping site tells Stiles that that night would have been her girlfriend and her first time. Add that to the ritualistic patterns of the wounds, and we’re looking at some good old fashioned virgin sacrifice.

Back with The Lunatics, Chris Argent puts together a system to corral the out of control werewolves through smell and sound. Their location target? The school. Because obviously no one hangs out in Beacon Hills High that late after hours! Well, except for Ms. Blake, who is still in her office grading papers.

Unaware of the presence of their lit teacher, The Lunatics (feat. The Argents) successfully wrangle Boyd and Cora into the school–the other wolves by mainly growling at them, Allison by shooting flash arrows at them from above**. At least she’s being a little less murdery with her Katniss powers this time around. Derek and Scott lure B&C into the boiler room and spray them down with fire extinguishers like angry cats, taking a moment of celebration that one of their plans actually worked and no one seems to have gotten stabbed yet.

But it’s not an episode of Teen Wolf unless someone’s at least almost stabbed Derek Hale, so we’re not done yet! The celebratory moment’s ripped right out of Scott and Derek’s hands when they realize Ms. Blake’s also in the boiler room–apparently Beacon Hills High keeps its supply closet in the basement. Derek dives straight back in, letting himself almost literally get ripped to shreds by Boyd and Cora in the process of saving Ms. Blake. Luckily the sun came up at exactly that moment. I wouldn’t be surprised if he really is the most frequently stabbed man on TV.

So, scorecard: Boyd and Cora didn’t murder anyone. There is, however, a serial killer going around Beacon Hills murdering virgins. As far as I can tell Stiles is the only virgin left in that group (although we don’t know much about Isaac, Boyd, or even Cora’s sexual pasts yet), so we’ll see if things get (more) personal.

Bullet points:

• Issac commented on Derek’s sister’s hotness (and was met with a really great steely glare). But he also shared a significant glance with Allison. I’m assuming, given the growing profile of the character, that Isaac’s gonna get some romantic something going on this season. So with which one? The trailers suggest Allison, but we don’t really know what they’re gonna do with Cora yet.
• Speaking of the romance side of things, I smell something on the horizon for Derek Hale. It’s not completely necessary that this ever happen, but I feel like at some point the show’s gonna introduce a canonical love interest for Derek. I very much doubt they’ll go canonical Sterek even if they do ever act on Stiles’ bisexuality, so after this episode I’d put good money on Ms. Blake. Which is probably more age appropriate anyway.
• Can I vote more screen time for Melissa McCall?

*Either that or he’s behind this whole virgin sacrifice thing, which would make sense as as of yet no concrete motive for his resurrection has surfaced. You know, other than being alive again.

**Allison’s tactic this season seems to be going off on her own for most of the episode and then showing up at the end with some plan that simultaneously saves the day and makes everybody’s lives harder. There’s a quiet badassery to that. Respect.

(Photo via MTV)