The ‘Conservative Quiet Code’ Is Not the Secret They Think It Is

Conservatives convinced they’ve created their own secret language may be surprised to learn it’s really not that big of a secret. It’s pretty easy to tell when someone’s a conservative because, more often than not, they just never stop telling you that they’re conservative. It’s pretty silly for them to feel the need to establish a “secret code” but conservatives, ever the drama queens, do love to imagine persecution. So it’s not surprising they’re romanticizing the idea of having to covertly signal to each other that they’re alike.

It didn’t take long for one woman’s seemingly earnest explanation of the “quiet code” to go viral. However, it likely didn’t go viral for the reason that she had anticipated. She appeared fully serious in her explanation, but viewers couldn’t help but notice that the “secrets” she was letting viewers in on weren’t that secret.

Woman shares conservatives’ not-so-quiet code

TikTok user @nonlibtake started her video by telling viewers, “Republicans are constantly speaking to each other in code out in public.” She then very excitedly described how there’s a “whole world” happening right underneath liberals’ noses that they’re just oblivious to. One of the first “codes” she let viewers in on was how, if someone puts that they’re a “moderate” in their dating profile bio, it probably means they’re Republican. Now, it is pretty well-known that most moderates are right-leaning in the United States, though those not very involved in the political scene may not know this. However, the list only gets less secretive as it goes on.

She went on to mention that a guy who drives a pickup truck and tweets with a username like 12437 is also “secretly” a conservative—as if we don’t all know that someone going by user12437 and harassing people on social media and spreading dangerous views while being too scared to share who they are is probably a person who identifies as a conservative. She goes on to say that people who like fishing, waving the American flag, and stopping at Buc-ee’s (a major GOP donor) are also “secretly” conservative.

It gets more ridiculous, though, as she mentions that people who like Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and (in recent years) Bill Maher are using their fondness for these people as a secret code for their political alignment. Secret code? Maybe she means the most enormous red flag that someone can possibly wave to show that they’re a conservative?

Fortunately, the comments on TikTok did not disappoint, offering a nice mixture of humor and sarcasm. Some commenters fretted over how we would EVER possibly crack the code, while others mentioned that the quiet code is so loud they heard it from other countries. The winning comment went to the person who suggested the woman in the video is basically Drax (Dave Bautista) in Guardians of the Galaxy, who believes himself to be invisible when everyone can clearly see him standing there eating potato chips.

It’s important to note that this code doesn’t happen under liberals’ oblivious noses. Many use this exact “code” to recognize people they’d rather avoid. Although some things, like grilling, we don’t want to give entirely to conservatives. At least, though, we know to be cautious when announcing our interest in cooked meats lest it attract conservatives who think we’re speaking their code.

Perhaps conservatives should try finding a quieter code or just re-evaluate what they define as quiet vs. loud.

(featured image: gzorgz / Getty)