I Have a Problem With How Hot the Cast of The Crown Is

I grew up in a household where my mother would defend Princess Diana with every breath she took. I knew of the Royal Family through that lens and that was that. So I enjoy watching The Crown and learning of these moments in history (however dramatized) with fresh eyes.

What I don’t appreciate is seeing all these hot actors playing characters I’ve hated for most of my life. From Prince Philip being both Matt Smith and Tobias Menzies to Josh O’Connor making me feel bad for Charles, everyone is just too attractive. I’m questioning things about myself.

Because season 4 just dropped on Netflix, I’ll keep my unfortunate thirst for the cast of The Crown limited to this cast. But here is a gif of the love of my life, Matt Smith, just for good measure.

So the biggest offender of the “no, too hot for the real-life person” is Josh O’Connor as Prince Charles. Never have I looked at Prince Charles at any point in my life and felt bad for him. I didn’t care about him, I didn’t love anything he did because I grew up in the ’90s, so I watched the demise of his marriage to Diana and what happened to her and lived through all the years of him going on to marry Camilla and just generally seem to not care.

But then in rolls Josh O’Connor and gives us the story of Charles who just wanted to act and who loved Camilla and kept pretending like that love would be fine for the Royal Family. He’s just sad the entire time and Josh O’Connor is too good looking not to combat my hatred of Charles, and so now I’m just stuck in a weird limbo.

Which then UNFORTUNATELY gets worse with Tobias Menzies playing Philip. Why did they get men I’m normally attracted to do play living-dead zombie Prince Philip? I don’t know but I hate it. Menzies was fine and dandy and I could get through it all until Philip became a little space nerd who wanted to talk to the American astronauts who landed on the moon and then from then on, I loved every moment Philip was on screen. My only saving grace is that I am not attracted to Jonathan Pryce (who is playing Philip in season 5), so maybe I will be free from this Philip-loving hell.

But the worst of it all is how Gillian Anderson pulled her Gillian Anderson ways with MARGARET THATCHER. There is a magic that Gillian Anderson has that it does not matter where you fall on the Kinsey scale, you are probably attracted to Gillian Anderson to some degree.

Even when she’s playing one of the most hated women in Britain’s history, so much so that we in America are taught about how much she sucked, there is still an “Um … but Gillian Anderson tho” moment of this show. This should be illegal. Someone arrest The Crown.

(Our Princess Weekes wrote a beautiful, non-hotness-based piece exploring how The Crown handled Diana, Elizabeth, and Margaret Thatcher that you can read here!)

I should note that Emma Corrin is beautiful as Princess Diana, but that’s not a surprise. That was the only member of the Royal Family that was universally known as the most beautiful being, so like … good job casting.

Overall, I wish to be rid of these feelings I have for the men of The Crown because I do not feel this way about the real-life men of the Royal Family, and I’m not thrilled with the show smoothing things over for people who don’t need or deserve it. I’d rather just follow Tobias Menzies and Josh O’Connor on social media and carry on with my love.

(image: Netflix)

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