‘The little things matter’: TikTok teaches horrible husband making coffee isn’t that hard

After a woman’s husband went viral for his nasty response to her asking him if he could make her a coffee, TikTok jumped into action to teach him the correct response to that question.

Whether they throw a temper tantrum at a gender reveal party, don’t write any wedding vows, or lose it over being asked to make coffee, terrible partners have a way of uniting the TikTok community in shock and dismay. Meanwhile, the attention these videos get often pushes men and boys to do better and for women to realize they deserve better. Recently, TikTok user Amber Lykins posted a video asking her husband if he could make her a coffee. His response to the small request went viral. He immediately responds, “Are you crazy?” Lykins confirms she’s serious, explaining she’s exhausted and just wants a coffee. However, the exchange only goes downhill from there as her husband demands to know if it’s “a back and forth thing.”

He demands to know what he’s getting “in exchange” for making her a coffee. The husband proceeds to argue with her for two minutes straight, complaining that everything is “one-sided” and scolding her about her “attitude.” Lykins makes no attempts at arguing and points out she didn’t demand that he make her coffee. She simply asked if he could and reminded him he could say “No.” Instead, he continued whining and shaming her, bringing up how she was “home all night” but asked him to do the dishes, complaining that he had to help care for his own children, and saying he can do whatever he wants because he works (Lykins confirmed she works, too).

The video garnered almost 3 million views, with users expressing shock and horror in the comments at how a simple request led to an over 2-minute angry rant filled with complaining and shaming. Videos quickly started surfacing to ensure partners knew the right way to respond to a request for coffee.

TikTok videos teach husbands how to respond to requests for coffee

TikTok user Janet Glaser stitched Lykins’ video while trying the experiment on her own husband. In the video, her husband is lying on the couch and appears to be watching a sports game when she asks, “Babe, can you make me a coffee?” He asks her if she just wants some of his, but she requests a “fresh coffee.” Within seconds, he gets off the couch to make her coffee and asks what kind of creamer she wants. When he returns, he does so with no trace of an attitude or annoyance, handing her the coffee in a “best mom ever” mug before picking up their son, planting a kiss on his head, and returning to the couch with the boy in his lap. In the caption, the woman wrote, “The little things matter.”

In the comments, users praised the husband for displaying many “green flags” by getting up when he didn’t want to and playing affectionately with their son. However, as TheBookOwl90 commented, “This is like the bare minimum, no? The bar is truly so low.” Glaser responded, “YES, this is the bare minimum.” What her husband did was kind, but it should also just be the norm. If you genuinely love someone, you are more than willing to do the little things for them without fighting or asking what you get in return. Additional women shared their partners’ “green flag” responses to their request for coffee.

One woman’s partner eagerly peddled her with a dozen questions to ensure she could get her exactly what she wanted. One man seemed scared that his wife was making a big deal of asking him. He looked at her like the answer was, “Duh, of course, I’ll make your coffee.” Another woman’s husband asked if she wanted him to make coffee at home or go out to get her some. One man didn’t know how to make coffee, so he asked his wife to show him how to do it.

Notice how there was no arguing, complaining, weaponized incompetence, or shaming. These women’s partners had an adult response to being asked for coffee, not little boy or manbaby responses. In a real adult relationship, women and men are happy when their partner feels comfortable enough to ask for a small act of service. They don’t have to worry about what they’re getting in return because they already know what they’re getting: a stronger, healthier relationship.

The “Can you make me coffee” trend is similar to the “Would you peel an orange for me” trend. Neither is definitive proof of whether you have a good relationship. However, both quickly identify which partners understand the importance of doing the little things and which ones throw tantrums over the littlest things. Every individual deserves a partner who cares about doing the little things for them. Hence, it is something men and women should honestly ask themselves if they’re willing to do before entering a relationship.