“If You Turn Her Upside Down, She Turns Into A Penis”: The Mary Sue’s Favorite Comments of the Week

That Spider-Woman cover happened this week. But other things did too! Like Kevin Feige saying more vague things about Marvel maybe making a movie that won’t star a white guy, and Victoria making everyone nostalgic for Neopets. Relive the week in geek through the best of our comments section.

The comedic timing in this pair of comments to Victoria’s exposé on the economy of Neopets is absolute perfection.

“Despite the author name and photo list I thought, ‘There’s no way he’d fit into this kind of piece!‘ I was prepared to comment about my disappointment over a lack of The Rock. Why did I ever doubt you, Rebecca?”—You’ll know better next time, Jon E. Christianson. The Rock belongs in all the stupid Photoshop galleries.

“I hear the studio isn’t actually admitting Kahn will be in the movie. It might be some other Jungle Book villain. Really, who knows?!?”—Mark Matson responds to Benedict Cumberbatch being cast as John Harrison Shere Khan in Warner Bros.’ The Jungle Book.

Dance party in support of Captain Marvel and Black Panther getting their own movies!

“It’s clearly a new character
Calf Man
A man who actually has baby cows for lower legs.
…
mooving right along”—Gallen Dugall’s cracked the secret of Scoot McNairy’s Dawn of Justice character.

“Y’all like to joke about how Rose should have moved over because two people can fit on a floating door but you forget that when Jack first TRIED to get on the door, IT SANK. So he made the conscious decision to stay in the freezing ocean in order to save Rose’s life. And when she let go of his hand to wave down the rescue boat and his dead body sank, it was after Jack MADE Rose promise to survive and die an old lady in her bed!

#FreeRoseDeWittBukater”—Adrian has Titanic feels.

The Earth used to be covered in dragons? “But WHO WAS THERE TO TRAIN THEM?! WHOOOOO!??”—JustPlainSomething asks the important questions.

YEEEEEEAHHHH, Penny Marie.

And finally, we have a few comments in response to Spider-Woman Buttgate. First up, PrincessButterRump:

“If you turn her upside down, she turns into a penis. I’m not joking, it’s kinda weird, and I can’t unsee it.”

In response to Karine Charlebois’s artistic critique, Deborah Picher offers:

“I like the corrected version. It considers that women have organs and ribcages, I like that. I consider them important in my everyday life.”

And finally, blatherskite asks:

“Someone please Photoshop Sir Mix-A-Lot sitting on that. I’m driving and it needs to be done post-haste.”

Ask and ye shall receive:

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