Maybe social media was a mistake. Because if I had not been on TikTok, I never would have known that this was a thing. Yet here I am, confronted with the information that there are people on the internet making jewelry out of jizz. Yup! And even worse, the jewelry material came from breast milk first. I guess we shouldn’t be “yucking” someone else’s “yum” but uh, in this case, I think maybe it’s okay to acknowledge that this is really friggin’ weird.
TikTok user Amanda Booth has a store where she makes interesting jewelry as a way of remembering people, celebrating butts, and creating pearls out of powdered semen. Here’s the thing: It is funny. Imagine someone complimenting your necklace and then you have to say that your pearl necklace is made out of jizz. That is actually comedy.
Personally, I don’t want to make fun of someone’s business because there is clearly a market for what Booth is doing. And Booth herself has recognized that it is a weird business model to begin with by answering the most common questions people have in her videos:
While many of us are wondering why this is something you’d want to wear on your person, at least it’s resourceful? It’s still weird! There’s no denying that. So the confusion that many of us feel over these pieces of jewelry is justified. Mainly because, well, you can make a lot of jokes about putting a necklace made out of semen on your body. Just sit and think about it for a minute, they’ll come to you. (See?)
Beauty can be found in everything, even jizz
TikTok is both a great place and the absolute worst. In this case, it depends on how you feel about wearing jizz jewelry. What I like about Booth’s jewelry is that you do get to see how people choose to honor one another. A nice necklace made from your husband’s semen might be a cherished keepsake for some. Personally, I’m fine with like, a picture—but that’s just me. Everyone is different! I have a necklace and baseball bat that have my father’s ashes in them. Someone else might even think that’s odd. That’s why humans are so cool, one person’s weird is someone else’s important.
The jewelry itself is just jarring to learn about. Mainly because when you hear “jizz” on TikTok, an app that makes you say “corn” instead of porn and “unalive” instead of, like, “die” to avoid getting flagged, you can’t help but wonder what is happening on god’s green internet. While I don’t think I’d ever enjoy some jizz jewelry on my person, I do have to admit that Booth’s jewelry is beautiful.
(featured image: NBC)
Published: Aug 24, 2023 11:55 am