Trump Sneakers Might Be Worse Than Trump’s $100K Watch

Just when you thought Donald Trump’s merch game couldn’t get any more unhinged, “45” proves me wrong once again.

Hot on the heels (pun intended) of unveiling a violently tacky (and possibly fraudulent) $100,000 “Victory Tourbillon” watch designed by an enterprising 13-year-old with access to a 3-D printer and a bag of VVS rhinestones, Trump has now dropped a new boot within his line of already bogus sneakers.

The knockoff of the classic 6-inch Timberland boots that we’re dubbing the “MAGA butters” have “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT” emblazoned in what appears to be Comic Sans font because nothing says “presidential” like shoes that look like they were cobbled together by a bootleg merch vendor outside a monster truck rally.

Let’s be clear—these Timber-lames are a blatantly disrespectful attempt to co-opt what his peole think shoe culture is, which has been largely shaped and driven by people of color. The irony of Trump, whose policies have consistently sought to marginalize and harm communities of color, trying to profit off their cultural contributions is genuinely mind-boggling. It’s like if Darth Vader started selling lightsabers to fund the Death Star.

But wait, there’s more! The Trump team, in their infinite wisdom, has slapped a disclaimer on the website stating that the product images “may not be an exact representation” of what you’ll actually receive. So not only are you paying two bills for Temu butters, you might not even get the knockoff butters you thought you were buying—not that this matters to people would actually spend $300 on these. It’s part of the fun, like a racist Mystery Box! And let’s not forget the “randomly autographed” pairs. Nothing says “hardcore grift” like scrawling your name on a few pairs of pleather boots and turning them into a bizarro lottery.

The cherry on top of this whole debacle? Trump is hawking these monstrosities while facing multiple criminal indictments and mounting legal bills, because someone other than him has to pay the millions he owes. It’s almost impressive how he’s managed to combine grifting, cultural appropriation, and unconscionable fashion into a nice, neat package of absolute foolishness.

In the end, whether you go for the $100K watch that looks like it was fished out of a Cracker Jack box or the MAGA butters that scream “all lives matter,” one thing is clear—Trump’s merch game is as bankrupt as his moral compass.