Have You Heard the One About Tucker Carlson’s Trump Assassination Theory?

Friends, I think it’s pretty obvious, even to the casual observer, that a few things about Tucker Carlson are emerging.

First, he is, and always will be, an opportunistic asshole. That’s not new, but it’s worth repeating.

Second, he’s clearly missing the platform Fox News gave him because he’s taken to Adam Carolla’s podcast to get his attention fix, which is really scraping the bottom of the relevancy barrel.

Third, I guess that Twitter show he was so hyped about isn’t really paying off, because he’s resorting to absolutely unhinged, baseless theories to get the attention he so craves. Shouldn’t have ticked off Daddy Murdoch, Tucks! You messed with the jagoff bull, and you got the horns.

Anyway, you’re here, I’m here, so we might as well talk about this absolutely unhinged, baseless theory Tucker is peddling to anyone who will listen, and you need to go fetch your tinfoil hat for this one because it’s bonkers.

See, Tucker thinks that chaotic-evil aligned, multiple-times arrested former President Donald Trump is going to be assassinated by a joint effort from both political parties. To be clear to the Secret Service, NSA, and anyone else reading this: this is not a view I hold. This is Tucker Carlson’s and Tucker Carlson’s alone. He took to Carolla’s podcast last week to spew it because I guess he wants to end up on a no-fly list, and this was the best way to go about it. Per Insider:

“If you begin with criticism, then you go to protest, then you go to impeachment, now you go to indictment, and none of them work. What’s next? Graph it out, man. We’re speeding toward assassination, obviously,” he said.

“They have decided — permanent Washington, both parties have decided — that there’s something about Trump that’s so threatening to them, they just can’t have him,” he said.

Carlson had, in fact, asked Trump if he feared being killed in an interview last week, to which the former president responded: “They’re savage animals. They’re people that are sick.” 

OK, first and foremost, if that evil a**hole Henry Kissinger is still alive and kicking at the ripe old age of 100, I think it’s fairly concrete proof that the deep state doesn’t take anyone out. Secondly, what?! What exactly is threatening about a man who by all accounts, won’t read anything, is happy to allegedly steal and allegedly improperly store classified documents, and who lost the last election he ran in? We’ve got a real criminal mastermind here, folks. The deep state is quaking in its boots!

Carlson isn’t the only one spewing this logically lacking “theory.” The other great thinkers of our time Alex Jones and Dan Bongino (a man whose name is far more fun to say than he actually is) have also declared with their whole chests that they’re opportunistic monkeybutts who think a subset of the population are too dumb to know better.

Unfortunately, this completely baseless theory could very well lead to violence—a fact the above men must, at the very least, have to have an inkling of, given what violence the far right has committed in the past. Per the above source:

Daniel Jones, the president of the nonpartisan research organization Advance Democracy, warned that Carlson’s rhetoric could incite real-world violence, per NBC.

“Those of us who follow and track extremism have seen that the rhetoric around the indictments of Trump is very similar to the rhetoric we saw prior to the Capitol insurrection,” Jones told the outlet. “I think everyone in this space is concerned about what the next 12 to 18 months look like.”

Trump is a grifting jag whose alleged crimes, it seems, are finally catching up to him. To preemptively paint him as a martyr of the deep state is dangerous, but when has Tucker Carlson ever cared about that?! This is a man who would throw an annual hissy fit over the green M&M because stoking culture wars is his entire personality. He knows exactly what he’s doing here, and I guess it’s too much to expect a loser podcast host whose glory days entailed hosting a show called The Man Show on Comedy Central to exert any sort of integrity.

Also, we’re all on the same page that it’s absolutely bonkers to think the leadership of both the Democrats and Republicans couldn’t agree on something as innocuous as infrastructure, but they could agree on an assassination plot against Donald Trump, right? Please. Leave coming up with conspiracy theories to the experts: the unprompted people who sit next to you late at night on the public transportation mode of your choice. This is just amateur hour.

(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)