Twitter Rebranding to ‘X’ Clinches It: Billionaires Are Not Smart People

Friends, we’re living through a future chapter, nay possibly an entire book, they will teach in business school to future generations of MBAs regarding how to ruin a perfectly cromulent brand through utter incompetence and ego, and as a result, cement your status as the biggest huckster in the world. I am of course talking about Elon Musk and the mind-bogglingly absurd idea to rebrand Twitter into “X.”

Here is the announcement Twitter CEO Linda Yaccarino made over the weekend:

It gets better though, resident man-child-in-charge Elon Musk has decreed that Tweets are no longer called Tweets, they’re now called Xs. LOL. I now have no doubt in my mind the only invitations that man got to attend birthday parties as a child was when his dad made his employees invite him to their own children’s, or he was on the receiving end of a “you have to invite everyone in your class or you can’t invite anyone” policy. So stupid, short-sighted, and just boneheaded this decision was.

Genuinely, this man was not teased enough in his life if he can do this with a straight face on an international stage. Go ask the geniuses behind “New Coke” how well changing a beloved formula to an iconic soft drink went. (Spoilers: not well!)

The key to making any bad decision is to power through without feedback, so with that in mind, the team behind this bone-headed name change has already gotten rid of the iconic blue bird at the top of the home screen, and replaced it with an X:

There’s something incredibly parasitic about buying a well-known, successful brand, slowly murdering it, and then finally, changing its name to match another company (SpaceX) that you bought, took credit for, and are desperate to commercialize. This is on par with HBO Max being rebranded as just Max. Inexplicable, stupid, and baffling to everyone who is not used to having their butt kissed at all times.

It is my genuine hope that with this rebrand two things happen. The first being is an heir apparent to Twitter takes its dominance soon so that Twitter can be put out of its misery once and for all. It’s sad to see how far it has fallen so quickly. The second is that this ridiculous rebrand will finally solidify in the public consciousness that billionaires are not special little bestest boys and girls who are better and smarter than us, they are simply social parasites who are very dumb, not told “no” enough, clearly are not paying enough in taxes, and who deserve none of our time or attention.

Elon Musk is able to rebrand Twitter not because he had the best vision for the site but simply because he had the deepest pockets. The result of this has been the privatization of what once felt like an egalitarian social town square; letting his weird little toadies into the clubhouse because they prop his ego up and say poorly written, hateful fascists things to the rest of us and taking credit for a site that every user helped build. There is no successful social media platform without users contributing to it.

…but when has Elon Musk been successful at anything in his life?

(featured image: screenshot)