The Underworld: Awakening Trailer: From the Perspective of Someone 100% Unfamiliar With Underworld [Video]

Before watching this trailer, I had no familiarity with the Underworld movie series. After watching it and receiving a brief description, I still have no familiarity with it. Here are my impressions: She’s a bit of a mouth-breather and it’s very blue. Also, for a long-term prisoner, the “People in Charge” kept their prisoner’s boots very close to her. She’s looking for someone named Michael, whom I have been told is her boyfriend and is both a werewolf and a vampire, which makes him some sort of savior? More uninformed commentary after the jump.

Here is what I do know: This is not the first movie, and that is Kate Beckinsale. And old-school monsters are involved, and I dig that. And that’s about all I know. There appears to be a great deal of murder and killing, and her escape was unexpected and will have bad consequences for people who try to stop her. That is what we “in the screenwriting business” call “the part during which things start to happen.”

After that, this looks like an actiony, angry, vampire lady who has been wronged and must fight a war between vampires and werewolves, even though her boyfriend is both. What a conundrum! But her boots seem very important to her, and they might have wheels on the bottom! The rest of her outfit seems streamlined, and must have been stored close to her boots, because she’s actually naked in the beginning. What happened that she was imprisoned and also naked? Did that last for 12 years too? What did she do? Seriously, I have no idea!

I’m also thinking that there was an attempt to invoke Picasso’s Blue Period, because of all the blue. But to my knowledge, Picasso did not generally go for supernatural themes in his art, so this would be a vague reference at best. [Ed. note: I am also mostly unfamiliar with Picasso, though I am more familiar with Picasso than I am with Underworld. For example, I know that Picasso was from Spain. I don’t know where Underworld is from. Transylvania? No idea.]

Okay, so unfortunately, in this case, I can offer no perspective on the trailer for Underworld: Awakening. But it looks like your typical supernatural, action “golden fleece” kind of movie (the “golden fleece” being … Michael?). Sincerest apologies if that’s not what it is.

(Trailer found at Geeks of Doom)