Today Cecil found a visitor on his desk. He’s pretty excited about it. It has puffy fur, tiny nubs for legs, and enormous duck eyes. I have to admit that sounds pretty cute. Naturally talking about cute animals soon brings up Khoshekh, Cecil’s beloved bathroom-hovering cat. Between the two of them it sounds like Cecil is a real animal lover. I’m just happy whenever Cecil’s using his ‘This thing is so cute!’ voice.
The next stories are about some electoral mud-slinging between the Faceless Old Woman and Hiram McDaniels and then a traffic report about a man running away from his problems. Whatever. I think we all know that cute animals are where the real news is.
Soon Cecil is petting his little visitor, who goes from being shy and distant to hugging Cecil’s leg. Cecil squeals and tries to reach for his phone to get a picture. He then realizes he can’t move. The strange visitor is too heavy.
Cecil’s voice is fine though so he keeps reporting. Carlos and the other scientists finally knocked on the door of the house that doesn’t exist (where one can see John Peters through the window). The door was answered by an irritated woman who didn’t know anything about John but claimed to have lived in the house for years.
The story is suddenly interrupted when Cecil cries out in pain. His cuddly new friend just bit him hard enough to draw blood. Cecil shoves it off and goes to the mens’ room to wash the wound, leaving us with a pre-recorded ad.
The ad is a doozy, coming to us from the long-missed Kevin. He tells us about a smiling god who wants us to kill our perfect selves. This is the god Strex worships. It’s creepy and hypnotic and wonderful. Five stars, would be consumed by again.
Cecil continues his broadcast from the bathroom where the monstrous creature has followed him. He’s happy to at least see Khoshekh again, but his joy turns to fear when the creature attacks Khoshekh. Cecil runs to the rescue and we go to the weather.
This episode’s weather is “Cover Me Up” by Jason Isbell.
When we get back Cecil is very somber. Khoshekh was very badly hurt in the fight. He was torn from his place in the air, scratched apart, and he lost one eye. On the plus side, the “visitor” has been destroyed. It turns out the creature was actually a robot, a Strex Pet given to Cecil for his birthday. His new boss, Lauren, offers no apologies, even when she learns it’s not actually Cecil’s birthday. Maybe she actually knew all along. The episode ends with Cecil sounding heartbroken and more eager to strike back at Strex than ever before.
Listen Strex, when it comes to Cecil, you do NOT. MESS. WITH KHOSHEKH.
We’ve got a storm a’brewing. Enjoy your Conspiracy Tracker.
1. The angels have disappeared and the City Council still denies they exist.
2. There’s a house that doesn’t exist, but connects to a desert world and the Dog Park.
3. The Apache Tracker died to save Carlos’ life.
4. Time isn’t real in Night Vale.
5. Cecil may have died as a teen. It involved a mirror.
6. There’s a city of tiny people underneath the Desert Flower preparing for war.
7. Literal five-headed dragon Hiram McDaniels wants to be the next mayor.
8. NV’s sister city Nulogorsk was destroyed and not destroyed in 1983.
9. Cecil hates Steve Carlsberg for unknown reasons.
10. Night Vale has a surprising fixation on actor Lee Marvin.
11. Night Vale is prone to duplication and Desert Bluffs is one of the duplicates.
12. A dark planet is calling to people. It may be the radio station.
13. People are shipping crates with tiny houses inside.
14. Old oak doors are appearing around Night Vale
15. Dana’s desert otherworld has a blinking light on a mountain.
16. Simone Rigadeau thinks the world ended decades ago.
17. Cecil can’t remember his past.
18. Earl Harlan thinks he and Cecil could have had something.
19. Mayor Winchell is retiring, possibly not by her own choice.
20. The Faceless Old Woman is running for mayor.
21. Something big and bad is coming from a desert otherworld.
22. Desert Bluffs/StrexCorp have a smiling god.
23. Tamika Flynn is leading an army against Strex.
24. Someone bought Cecil at an auction.
Alex Townsend is freelance writer, a cool person, and really into gender studies and superheroes. It’s a magical day when all these things come together. You can follow her on her tumblr and see her comments on silver age comics. Happy reading!
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Published: Dec 5, 2015 11:00 am