What “Bad” Movie Do You Unironically Love Anyway?

Movie reviews are inherently subjective things, despite the aspects of a movie you can rank in terms of technical proficiency. At the end of the day, movies are also art, and people like different things and have different levels of tolerance for mistakes or rough edges—technical or otherwise—in general, not to mention how that can fluctuate in relation to the parts of a movie a viewer does like. So when general opinion about a movie coalesces, there will always be people who disagree.

Sometimes, this means we’re left on the sidelines, wondering how anyone could possibly love a movie that we disliked so much—and for some, it means going on a personal crusade to kill everyone else’s joy. But what about the opposite? What happens when you love a movie that everyone else generally agrees is no good? I’m not talking about a so-bad-it’s-good situation, although those can be fun, too. No, I’m talking about a movie that consensus has deemed unworthy, but that you enjoy for exactly what it is.

For me, that movie, or at least the one that most readily springs to mind, is the original, 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie—the go-to example whenever someone wants to talk about the poor quality of movies adapted from video games. I’ve used the example plenty of times myself, because it’s so woven into the fabric of nerd culture, and it was and still is at least partly responsible for the way video game movies are looked at, including by Nintendo themselves. (They’ve only just recently decided to do another one, and not a bizarre live action adaptation this time.)

But I love that movie, and I always will. I don’t care if people who were in the movie say things like “the stench of it stays with everybody.” (And they do.) You know what? Consider me

I love that, for some reason, the nitpicking nerd inside me turned off all rational thought and said, Who cares if Toad is a person, for some reason, who is apparently also descended from goombas—who, in this movie, are big humanoid creatures with tiny lizard heads? Who cares if Big Bertha, the giant fish from Mario 3, is also a person, who possesses rocket- (or compressed air?) powered boots that the Mario brothers will later use? She’s amazing.

(image: Beuna Vista)

Who cares if this entire movie sounds like it was made by someone’s dad who didn’t quite understand Mario Bros. at all? I don’t want a straightforward Mario Bros. movie. I want some weird early ’90s fever dream version of it, and that’s what I’m getting! And holy crap Yoshi is like a tiny velociraptor from Jurassic Park which is also out this year! Bob-ombs are tiny, adorable windup toys! I love this movie!

And that only scratches the surface of the weird choices the movie makes, for all of which I 100% checked my disbelief at the door. Some kind of weird war between worlds, where Koopa is Dennis Hopper and is all mad that inferior monkey-people get to live on our Earth while his own lizard-people are stuck in a (now) retro-future hellscape, and there’s weaponized evolution involved, and a guy gets turned into a chimp? Sign me the hell up, honestly.

The thing is that, aside from technical aspects, it’s hard to rate movies objectively because all movies aren’t trying to be the same thing. The Mario Bros. movie wasn’t trying to be a serious, gritty adaptation of the games into the real world. It new it was wacky and bizarre and just ran with it, and I love that.

So what about you, commenters? Go on, it can’t be any worse than liking the poster child for “bad” video game movies. It doesn’t even have to be something nostalgic from your childhood, although that’s probably fertile ground for it.

(featured image: Buena Vista)

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