NEW YORK, NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 11: Republican vice presidential nominee, U.S. Senator J.D. Vance (R-OH) visits "The Story with Martha MacCallum" at Fox News Channel Studios on September 11, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images)
Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images

‘What kind of 1st grade idea is that?!’: Yep, JD Vance just claimed a little hardware store hocus-pocus is going to help with school boogeymen

Guns are now the leading cause of death for teenagers in America. JD Vance has a solution: strong doors and windows. Yep, that’s literally his only idea, and at least according to the statements he made during his Vice Presidential debate with Tim Walz.

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Bullet proof glass? Steel doors? JD what are you talking about?

Rather than admit the obvious (that guns are the problem) Vance told Americans that further “security” is needed to ensure that children remain safe in schools. “We have to make the doors lock better,” said. “We’ve got to make the windows stronger, and of course, we’ve got to increase school resource officers.”

“Make Doors Lock Better.” How’s that for a new Trump campaign slogan? Put that on a red hat and sell it to the right-wing masses. Vance didn’t elaborate on what “locking better” means, of course. Padlocks? Chains? Those big metal wheels locks on doors in submarines? JD what are you talking about? As for making “windows stronger” surely he can’t mean installing bullet proof glass in schools, can he? After all, that’s the only kind of window glass capable of stopping a bullet in the first place. “Increase school resource officers” is simply a fancy way of saying “put more cops in schools.” Did you forget, JD, that the 376 police officers who were deployed to respond to the Uvalde School shooting in Texas failed to stop one 18 year old with a gun from killing 19 students and two teachers? What’s it gonna take? 400 next time? Bullet proof glass, reinforced doors, and a constant armed guard. Are we sending kids to an educational institution or a penal one?

Tim Walz’ made an apt rebuttal: “Do you want your schools hardened to look like a fort?”

Walz’ went on to remind Americans that he himself is a gun owner and hunter, and stressed that his policy of more strenuous background checks of Minnesota gun buyers is not part of a larger effort to take away guns. “We understand that the Second Amendment is there, but our first responsibility is to our kids to figure this out,” said Walz. What kids need is a refuge from the constant threat of gun violence, but that refuge shouldn’t require military grade security to be safe. If JD Vance truly understood the needs of American students, he would no doubt agree.

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Sarah Fimm
Sarah Fimm (they/them) is actually nine choirs of biblically accurate angels crammed into one pair of $10 overalls. They have been writing articles for nerds on the internet for less than a year now. They really like anime. Like... REALLY like it. Like you know those annoying little kids that will only eat hotdogs and chicken fingers? They're like that... but with anime. It's starting to get sad.