Where Will the Ninja Turtles Live if NYC’s Sewers Keep Flooding??

So New York is sort of underwater right now … There is flooding everywhere, and in true New York fashion, no one is really taking it seriously. We’re all still out doing things and walking around the city. This morning, I was on the A train when everyone received an alert telling us not to leave our homes. We were all underground on the subway at the time the alert was sent.

You know who is being flooded out of their homes right now? The Ninja Turtles. Famously, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live in the sewers of New York City, where they eat pizza with their father Splinter. The giant rat raised his turtle boys to be good crime fighters and protect the city. But what do they do when the subways flood? Right now, the trains are barely running because of the rain.

In fact, one of the trains I regularly take threw its hands up and said “I don’t know, I’m not going into Manhattan” this morning. The flooding is so bad, it’s gotten to the point where people are encouraged to go nowhere, and as I said, none of us are listening because we’re New Yorkers.

How will the Revel users make it home when the Revel itself cannot even swim?

It’s beyond bad, and it’s also honestly frightening because the reality is that we’re either stuck wherever we are or we have to hope the MTA works. And, at this point, the subway is crying. Literally.

This raises an important question about our heroes who live in the sewers of Manhattan: What do they do when the subways flood? If the L train is so bad that it’s not running, where do Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael go?

Someone think of the turtles! Can Splinter even swim!?

The rat kings of the subway often come up to the surface of the city to feast. I see them on my block all the time and I pay them my respects. I say “Hi king, what’s up?” as I pass by on my way home. But while I know that the turtles most definitely can swim, can Splinter? What does he do if their little den floods? What about his Chris Pine standee? That definitely won’t survive this flooding.

I know that the turtles will be okay even if they weren’t raised like normal turtles. It’s in their DNA to at least know how to swim to some degree, but rats aren’t known for swimming—just surviving. So maybe Splinter will figure out a way to get to dry land. I just hope the boys look out for his Chris Pine memorabilia in the process.

None of this is great, and while I’m having fun thinking about the Ninja Turtles, the flooding is bad. I currently don’t know how I am going to make it home without having to spend a lot of money on an Uber and a prayer, but hey, at least we can make some jokes about the turtles.

(featured image: Paramount Pictures)