Which ‘Tortured Poets Department’ Song Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

There are many Taylor Swift songs you can assign to a specific sign on the Zodiac calendar. I’ve often said “Anti-Hero” is a Scorpio anthem. But what songs work with what signs from The Tortured Poets Department? Is there a perfect match for each of them?

While I have liked The Anthology more than the main album, we will stick with songs just on the first release of The Tortured Poets Department! So, let’s get into it.

Aquarius

The titular song “The Tortured Poets Department” reads as an Aquarius to me. It is creative, much like an Aquarius, but it is also unpredictable and is pushing back against a lost love, which inherently has that independent quality that Aquarius individuals have. There are probably some other choices that could work, like “Peter,” but I like “The Tortured Poets Department” for an Aquarius.

Pisces

“Fortnite” features Post Malone and is overly emotional about a relationship that didn’t work out. As someone who has many friends who are Pisces, I know how emotional they can be, and there is just something about “Fortnite” that clicks with the sign.

Aries

Aries are extremely impulsive and passionate, and I don’t know what says that more than crying at the gym and then saying “F*ck it if I can’t have him” at the same time. I do think it is less on the confident side of Aries, but it is still in line with their other qualities. So, with that in mind, “Down Bad” is their song.

Taurus

Tauruses are stubborn. Hearing a song where she goes back to this man again and is trying to continue to make something that work that probably shouldn’t really just points to a Taurus for me. So, “Fresh Out the Slammer” works because Tauruses are also possessive, and the song is all about keeping something that she was maybe losing.

Gemini

Adaptable, outgoing, and astute are all qualities that are connected with Gemini, and a song like “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” really embodies that for me. All about being tough, pushing through the pain, and still being that “outgoing” person people label you as, it really just works for a Gemini.

Cancer

This song is about Swift’s feelings on a summer of her life. They’re sensitive and moving, and it makes me think of a Cancer. Maybe it is just how my mother (who is a Cancer) reacts to the world, but this song reminds me of how she loves and feels like the right fit. “But Daddy I Love Him” really hits on the loving nature of a Cancer, and it all just really connects the dots.

Leo

I love Leos, but they would call themselves a favorite toy, so “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” feels like the right fit. There are other qualities about Leos that also work here, like their honesty, and Swift is being open about her pain here, but their arrogance leads me to pick “My Boy Only breaks His Favorite Toys.”

Virgo

The perfectionist sign, a Virgo aims for everything to be a certain way. (I know; I am a Virgo Rising.) The reason I think “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” fits with a Virgo stems from the fact that the song is all about fixing a man, but the line “and only I can” gives it that hardworking edge that is associated with the sign.

Libra

One of the qualities of a Libra that stands out to me is how romantic they are. One of the lyrics of “Guilty as Sin?” reads “What if he’s written ‘mine’ on my upper thigh only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze, oh what a way to die.” That is inherently heartbreakingly romantic to me, even if it is saying she didn’t get to touch the man she wanted to.

Scorpio

You may be shocked by my choice for Scorpio, the sign I know the best (because it is mine), but think about our vindictive nature. We love to love until someone crosses us, and then that love turns to a hatred that is unmatched. We would easily write a song called “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” as revenge, and I respect it.

Sagittarius

A sign that is known for being blunt, curious, and independent, it was hard to pick a song for a Sag. I thought that “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” should be a song for a Scorpio, but then I thought about Sags and thought that this could work here better. I am a Sag Moon, so I know that those qualities about me connect with this song because of my Moon placement, and that’s why I think this song fits well with a Sagittarius.

Capricorn

Traits for a Capricorn connect with “The Alchemy” because of how the song starts out, and then the joy comes into play. “The Alchemy” is all about finding a new love, and while Capricorns can be pessimistic and unforgiving, the song is about new beginnings, and I think that is connecting to the hardworking traits that Capricorns possess.

(featured image: Republic Records)