Who Is Avengers: Age of Ultron? I Don’t Know Her.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron isn’t a real movie. Stop that! A movie so bad that many fans of the MCU literally pretend it doesn’t exist when they’re rewatching Marvel’s massive franchise, Ultron has angered us to the point where we just pretend like it’s not even a movie.

I, like many women who watched this movie, loathed the idea that we are “monsters” if we cannot or choose not to have children. Remember that storyline we collectively threw from our minds as soon as the credits rolled? That’s right; I’m here to remind you all that Joss Whedon gave us “monster” Natasha Romanoff and then, in her “monster” status, had her get together with Bruce Banner.

Talk about a couple that makes no sense and has no comic backing. I’m a big Bucky/Nat fan, so this just fueled my rage, because really? Why? Just bring in Betty Ross, please.

The only good thing to come out of this movie is my sweet baby girl, Wanda Maximoff. To be fair, Whedon’s characterization of her wasn’t … great … but at least it brought the Maximoff twins into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Sadly, with a complicated, rich history in the comics, Whedon went with the most boring, nothing portrayal, since they couldn’t be Magento’s children. And thus, we were gifted Pierto and Wanda.

Then Whedon then went and murdered Pierto and made a good majority of Wanda’s character being sad about her brother. And then she went from being sad about her brother to being in a relationship with a computer, so I guess we can blame Age of Ultron for all of that nonsense?

I mean, I guess there are probably people out there who like Age of Ultron. It gave us that ridiculous “Language” line from Captain America, even though he had sworn before, and his best friend, Bucky Barnes, definitely swore back in the 1940s, but sure, whatever. I guess that makes sense.

Age of Ultron was promising. Getting James Spader as Ultron? Creating Vision? Great! Unfortunately, it was a mess. It destroyed like three characters, and it diminished almost every woman to a “woe is me and my man/baby problems” character. Am I glad the era of Whedon in the MCU is over? Yes, but also, while taking stock as this entire saga of the MCU comes to a close, what if we continued to just write this particular movie out of the canon entirely?

(image: Marvel Entertainment)

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