Now that Kevin Hart has stepped down as host for this year’s Academy Awards, there is a void that must be filled. Who will step up and take the least wanted hosting gig in Hollywood, as described by The Hollywood Reporter?
Right now Twitter has listed off several options, ranging from Paddington (yes) to the fancy duck in Central Park (yes) to Jeff Goldblum (triple yes). Naturally, we at The Mary Sue have some serious opinions on this matter. I polled my colleagues on who they’d like to see take up the spotlight, and here are their answers.
Princess Weekes: For Oscar Host, even though the Oscars don’t deserve them I’m rooting for a “Betty White/Jenifer Lewis” 2019 Ticket. Not only are these two women veteran comedians, but it would be nice to have two older women hosting the Oscars. I mean can you imagine two people who have less fucks to give for Oscar politics than those two women. They have careers, collect easy checks, now they can just roll out there and roast everyone? Sounds like a fun night to me.
Vivian Kane: When picking a host the Academy tends to go with either a movie star or a late-night or daytime talk show host. Billy Eichner is neither, but he has built a career on his own specific brand of celebrity culture fandom/skewering with Billy on the Street. He would be a perfect host. The Oscars are long and they often drag. Billy Eichner talks fast, yells a lot, and has no patience for dawdling. With Eichner leading the show, he could easily get it down to 90 minutes flat. Plus, during the recent Kevin Hart awfulness, Eichner did not hold back in his criticisms of Hart’s behavior. He also showed a much stronger understanding of the entire situation that Hart himself.
Wow. Just…wow. Does he realize he signed up to host the OSCARS? You wanna tweet “jokes” about gay bashing your own son I guess that’s your choice but at the very least, KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!!! https://t.co/ztauMLKu5M
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) December 7, 2018
Rachel Leishman: A character who doesn’t speak, a man of the anti-fascism movement: Gritty. He is what we need in an Oscar host. Want a glass broken if you’re angry about a win? Gritty has you covered. What about someone to just bring fur and light to the entire evening? He’s our guy and the one that we should let host the Academy Awards this year.
It’s hard to pick someone I agree with more here, so I propose that we combine all my co-workers’ ideas. Lewis and White take the main hosting gig, with Eichner popping in for commentary throughout the evening. Gritty, of course, can make dashing appearances throughout the night like an orange, antifa Where’s Waldo.
Everyone will laugh. People will actually tune in. We’ll actually have decent jokes instead of the same old “lol, we’ll call out Hollywood but not enact any change” schtick that’s so popular nowadays.
Who do you want to see host the Oscars this year, dear Suevians?
(image: Gritty/Twitter)
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Published: Dec 7, 2018 06:03 pm