The Wii Fit Trainer Joins Super Smash Bros. as Playable Character, I’m Genuinely Excited

There isn’t much about the WiiU that’s been attractive to me as a consumer or a gamer. I mean, I know that eventually Nintendo will do something like put out a new Zelda game exclusively for the platform and then I’ll actually have to take a look at my choices, but for now there’s nothing about the system that’s really made me say wow, I want that.

Until yesterday, when Nintendo announced that the female version of the Wii Fit trainer, the one who explains how to do Yoga poses, pushups, and jackknifes, is going to be a playable character in its legendary franchise of fighting games, Super Smash Bros.

It’s pretty safe to say that there are a lot of self described “hard core” gamers out there who are not feeling the same level of enthusiasm as me for the addition of the Wii Fit Trainer to the game. That’s okay: I don’t really give a flip about Mega Man, but like many people my age, I have an intense reverence for the afternoon spent with one to three friends, yelling at a television while we availed ourselves of the entire Nintendo universe to pummel each other silly. I know you don’t have to know much about the character to specialize in them in Smash. But I’ve also spent my fair share of time with the Wii Fit’s not-really-rigorous-as-I-needed work outs, and the idea that the soothing Wii Fit trainer moonlights as a ruthless competitor in free-for-all combat is about as appealing as it gets to my sensibilities.

And yes, the Wii Fit Trainer is going to be a ruthless competitor:

Although I have to admit that if I was in charge, her final smash would be judging her opponent’s Fit Age as way older than they actually are. Then they’d look disappointed, and take 300% damage.

It’s worth pointing out that the Trainer’s inclusion will increase the number of playable female characters to ever appear in a Smash Bros. game from five to six, out of a total of more than forty. And frankly that’s a generous estimate (though not so generous as to include any Pokémon): I’m including two different versions of Samus and counting half of the Ice Climbers as well. Who knows? Maybe this time around we’ll see Dixie Kong, the first female character in the extended Mario Bros. setting to get her own game, or Midna, the other princess who got a Zelda game named after her, or even Amy Rose of the Sonic Universe. I’m not advising anyone to hold their breath, but Nintendo hasn’t even officially named this version of Smash Bros. either, so it’s clear that there’s a lot about the game yet to come.