Finally, after a century of waiting, Matt Reeves’ The Batman has come to theaters. Ever since 2019, the hype for the film starring Robert Pattinson and Zoë Kravitz had steadily grown. During the initial pandemic lockdowns in 2020, fans got a tasty teaser trailer to hold us over for the year. After The Batman opened on March 4, everyone is asking one question: Will Robert Pattinson still do porn?!
For those of you who may have forgotten, I’ll refresh your memory. Back in December 2019, Robert Pattinson did an interview with The Guardian to promote his upcoming film, The Lighthouse. Pattinson (a.k.a. the God of Chaos) revealed that he didn’t think he was much of an actor. He chose roles based on how odd the characters were because he only knows how to play people who are not normal. When he spoke about the recently announced Batman film, he mentioned playing the hero would be a lot to live up to, but he was up for the challenge. Yet, he tossed in the caveat of its failure. If the movie flopped, he would turn to art-house porn.
And the internet rejoiced with the possibilities.
But he wait for The Batman’s success is over. Unfortunately for those waiting for Pattinson to make good on his word, the movie appears to be doing stellar. RottenTotatoes.com gave The Batman their stamp of Certified Fresh, not to mention March 3rd’s early release of the film garnered $21.6 million—just in one night. So, basically, it is an enormous success, and we have all been writing art-house scripts for nothing.
Although it may look like Pattinson will stick to mainstream cinema, don’t lose hope. This is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about. Known for lying during interviews, showing up drunk at inconvenient times, and being the creator of the disturbing “Piccolini Cuscino” pasta dish, Pattinson does whatever he wants. I would not dismiss a foray into the art-house porn genre. In the meantime, fans can enjoy his other films, some of which already border on art-house porn.
(featured image: DC/Warner Bros.)
Published: Mar 4, 2022 05:44 pm