The Absolute Worst Places to Live in Westeros

Seven hells! In this case, that’s not an expression. That’s literally what these places are. Life is hard in Westeros, whether you’re high or lowborn. Sure there are a few nice places to live, plenty actually. Green pastures, quaint villages, lively port towns. But these places? Never.

Flea Bottom

Gonna go out on a limb here and say that life in a place called Flea Bottom is gonna suck. King’s Landing is already a loud, filthy, dangerous place to live. Its slum district of Flea Bottom? All that and worse. Flea Bottom is perhaps one of the poorest places in all of Westeros, where unfortunates eke out a meager existence through toil, robbery, and murder. As for local cuisine and culture? You can get a stew of mystery meat called a “bowl o’brown” or just “the brown” and go to one of the neighborhood’s many rat pits! It’s like dog fighting, but with rats!

The Wall

The Wall SUCKS. It’s cold. It’s the furthest place north in the entire Realm. It’s populated by murderers, exiles, rapists, and criminals. And it’s all dudes. Don’t get me wrong, nothing’s wrong with time spent with the lads. But ALL of one’s time spent with the lads? That’s not healthy. There’s nothing to do but haul stones, hit each other with practice swords, and do ledger-balancing busy work. And worst of all? The FAR North is right at your doorstep. Whose door are the cannibal tribes, marauding giants, and White Walkers gonna bang on first? Yours.

Skagos

Most Game of Thrones fans haven’t even heard of Skagos. That’s for the best. What is Skagos? Skagos is a gross little island located in the Bay of Seals off the northeastern coast of Westeros. It’s technically part of The North, but The North wants nothing to do with it. The inhabitants of Skagos are a big, hairy, smelly folk that are believed by maesters to share blood with the fishlike in inhabitants of Ibben off the northern coast of Essos. The Skagosi are rumored to be cannibals and practitioners of human sacrifice, and according to some, they still engage in the barbaric and outlawed custom of “first night.”

The Vale

The mountainous region of the Vale is a terrible place to live. Why? Mountain clans. The mountains are LOUSY with them. Who are they? They are barbaric tribes of mountain dwellers that ride down from the heights and slaughter anyone in their path. And I mean ANYONE. They don’t care if you’re some peasant farmer or Lord of the Eyrie yourself, they will ride down on you regardless. Doesn’t matter how many knights and men-at-arms you surround yourself with. These people will come out of nowhere, kill your friends, cut off your ears, and wear them as a necklace.

Castamere

You know that song “The Rains of Castamere”? It was a real place. I say “was” because Tywin Lannister burned the castle to the ground after its Lord Robert Reynes rebelled against the rule of Casterly Rock. Before he burned the castle down, Tywin Lannister trapped the remnants of the retreating House Reyne in the mines beneath the castle, which he then flooded. THEN he burned the castle down. Nothing but ghosts, ruins, and old bones. Not a place you want to visit.

Harrenhal

If you think the Reynes of Castamere got it bad, just wait ’til you hear what happened to the haunted Harrenhal. During the days of Aegon’s Conquest, Harrenhal was ruled by a cruel and murderous psychopath known as Harren the Black. Harren refused to bend the knee to Aegon, so Aegon rode up to the castle of his dragon Balerion and burned it down. Despite the fact that the castle in ruins, lords of the Riverlands continue to move into the place. Harrenhal is said to be a place of bad luck, where blood is mixed in with the mortar between the stones. The vibes are just appalling.

North of The Wall

Sure the Free Folk love it, but the lands north of The Wall are easily the most inhospitable place in Westeros. To the far north is the Land of Always Winter, where the White Walkers dwell. A little south of that and you have cannibal clans of Wildlings. Oh and giants. Big, angry giants. The temperatures are freezing year-round. There’s nothing but snow, ice, and death. You could visit charming locals like Craster, who keeps multiple wives and marries his daughters while giving his infant sons to the White Walkers.

Just a terrible place all around.